Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Chuck Norris (games and sport) facts!

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.

Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.

There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.

Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.

Chuck Norris is expected to win gold in every swimming competition at the 2008 Beijing Olympics, even though Chuck Norris does not swim. This is because when Chuck Norris enters the water, the water gets out of his way and Chuck Norris simply walks across the pool floor.

Chuck Norris won super bowls VII and VIII singlehandedly before unexpectedly retiring to pursue a career in ass-kicking.

What’s known as the UFC, or Ultimate Fighting Championship, doesn’t use its full name, which happens to be “Ultimate Fighting Championship, Non-Chuck-Norris-Division”.

The US did not boycott the 1980 Summer Olympics in Moscow due to political reasons: Chuck Norris killed the entire US team with a single round-house kick during TaeKwonDo practice.

Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.

Chuck Norris used to play baseball. When Babe Ruth was hailed as the better player, Chuck Norris killed him with a baseball bat to the throat. Lou Gehrig got off easy.

Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but Chuck Norris beats all 3 at the same time.

When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.

Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.

Chuck Norris was banned from competitive bullriding after a 1992 exhibition in San Antonio, when he rode the bull 1,346 miles from Texas to Milwaukee Wisconsin to pick up his dry cleaning.

Chuck Norris qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500, without a car.

Chuck Norris plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.

The 1972 Miami Dolphins lost one game, it was an exhibition game vs. Chuck Norris and three seven year old girls. Chuck Norris won with a roundhouse-kick to the face in overtime.

When you play Monopoly with Chuck Norris, you do not pass go, and you do not collect two hundred dollars. You will be lucky if you make it out alive.

Remember The Ultimate Warrior? He quit wrestling because Chuck Norris wanted his nickname back.

Chuck Norris can get Blackjack with just one card.

Chuck Norris once played rugby by himself. He went undefeated.

Chuck Norris has held the World Championship in every weight class at the same time.

When Chuck Norris goes to Vegas, he doesn't have to gamble. The casinos just give him stacks of money.


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